Gripe 3: Procrastination

In a perfect world, we'd all be caterpillars and then butterflies at the end of a long, soul-searching journey. Unfortunately, most of us don't know what is that journey. In fact, we're quite obvious to the concept of Time. We know of time: the alarm clock to work, the lunch date on Saturday, the evening drama on TV every Wednesday night, but do we really know Time?

Look at a photo of yourself ten years ago. Might as well look at a photo of your PARENTS ten years ago and then you'll see what this author is talking about. I'm not talking about time, I'm talking about Time. And when I talk about procrastination, I'm not talking about delaying a mid-term paper, the laundry, or paying off the mortgage (although that's something you should pay a bit more attention to), I'm talking about a life not lived purposefully.

In this brief aberration of existence, you've been given (give or take) 60-75 years to do something worth a legacy. In Shakespearian comedy, having a family is considered a legacy. and it's definitely the most sacred and common. In Hemmingway fiction, legacy is something already passed and too late to recognize, a bit cynical but true when we often lament the present and cry for the past, only to have the future creep up on us and then the cycle starts again.

Whatever it is that you consider you're legacy, don't wait too long for it. Patience means active waiting. And in the end, it's all about being persistent and consistent. That's why I recommend the Wake n' Bacon alarm clock (http://www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php). Nothing tells you to go live that life that cooked bacon in the morning.

Gripe 2: Cereal

So when we were young, eating Captain Crunch was the right thing. Trix. Fruit Loops. Lucky Charms. Count Chocula. Who would have believed that twenty years later, those sugary bowls would eventually leave to high blood pressure, diabetes, and hypertension? In fact, if all the mascots were forced to eat their own cereal, I suspect they'd look something like this:

Tucan Sam is the one in green. Anyway, so we're a bit older and we're forced to live in a world without Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross. We still love cereal, but we can't trust any box with a mascot on it. I'm giving you the mean eye, Honey nut Cheerios Bee! I know you're a Louie the Lightning Bug reject! Anyway, for those who still love cereal and want to a bit healthier, I recommend Kashi's Heart to Heart Honey Toasted Oat. It looks like Cheerios but has a rounder, subtle, more appetizing taste. It's lower in sugar than most cereals, but still manages to be sweet (http://www.kashi.com/products/heart_to_heart_cereal_honey_toasted_oat)

It makes a great quick snack and it has all those healthy words on the side and back of the box to make you feel like you actually care about your wellness. Excuse me as I kick the habit.

Gripe 1: Orthotics

Congrats on the majority of you with normal feet. Most likely, you're putting good use to them by sitting on the couch, watching reruns of Seinfeld and occasionally moving to the fridge to appreciate your arched feet. For the rest of us (not including club-foot people), we got low to flat arches, so we can't really participate in sports or anything with lateral movement. In fact, we'd rather just join you on the couch and wither away because life didn't give us a lift.

Well, sadly, there are solutions. First is surgery. Forget it. Second is orthotics, which are insoles that simulate an arch foot. Okay, sounds decent enough. But which one? Well, hard plastic orthotics like the Walkfit (http://www.walkfit.es/) work, and you feel like a superhero when walking in them. I mean, you're bouncing up and down like Bruce Lee about to open a can of wup @$$ on somebody. Then comes the evitable. Pain. Of course, the reps will tell you it will take two to four weeks for your feet to adjust. What they're really trying to say is that eventually, your feet will numb to a point that the center of your foot will be like puddy after long hours of standing, walking, or running.

Then they'll suggest your buy a quarter inch cushioning that will supposedly alleviate the pain and stop the callus from forming in the center of your foot. Nope. Forget it. I'm done with the feeling that someone is punching the center of my feet everytime I walk. Next are the orthotics from http://www.flatfoot.com/ Now they work, but they're more for walking than running and doing sports with lateral movements. I, however, vouch for the Sof Sole Graphite Orthotics (http://www.sofsole.com/). They're a bit bulky, so it'll be hard to wedge it in a dress shoe (use the orthotic from flatfoot.com instead), but for extreme comfort, durability, and with satisfaction that you too can perform like a regular joe or jane without those cave people feet. Go on, kiddies. The sun is out.